I would love for this space here to be a place filled with affirmation. Do you have some advice for the new couple? Maybe a tip for keeping the romance alive?! How about a favorite Bible verse? In the comments leave your words for David and Lovelle.
Make it a habit to notice all the little things you agree on throughout a day. The way you adapt to one another's needs and preferences easily. Make mental notes of those little moments when life together feels easy and comfortable. It will help you keep perspective when tensions rise and you disagree about something. Instead of feeling like you are on totally different pages, you will be anchoring in all the ways you fit together and see it as just a blip on the radar.
Make time for weekly date nights. Life gets in the way & if we don't make this a priority, it falls to the way-side. It may not seem like it now, but you'll be forever grateful you made a commitment for weekly date nights! They don't have to cost anything-they can be a simple walk, counting the stars, or a picnic at the park... be creative, just be consistent! :)
My husband and I are imperfect people (and certainly not as pious as this sounds...), but we always pray together in the morning before we head our separate ways and in the evening before bed. It's something my parents have always done -- they've been married 39 years -- and it was something they recommended to me when I got married. On days when I'm mad at my husband for something or life feels overwhelming, it's a good way to stay connected. And, on the practical side, it's harder to stay mad at someone when you're praying with them. :)
I wrote this guest-post a few months ago for a sweet friend who was getting married. She asked me to write down a few tips and talk about what I've learn in the last 15 years of marriage. Hopefully something in there will be useful to you as well. http://www.beingmrskirk.blogspot.com/2014/07/guest-post-20-tips-for-marriage.html Best of luck to you and David on your new adventure!!
What a sweet, fun picture of the two of you! Love it! I can see the joy your love for each other radiates. I am so tickled pink you have found the love of your lives! Lovelle, I have seen your beautiful heart through your blog and role as marketing assistant at DaySpring and know you will make a wonderful, godly wife. Based on your answers to the 20 questions, I see a lovely, God-centred couple who make each other happy. Like your mom Holley says, you will have discussions. When you do, you may find it helpful to ask, "what's more important me or us?" Sending you off with my prayers and blessing. May the Lord bless you both as you embark on your life together as one. XO
I struggle the most in our marriage with respect. It is something my husband needs most from me and yet, it is something that I don't always do well. But finding ways to show David you respect him and all he is doing at home, work etc...means a lot to him. And David, I would say to just love Lovelle well. May she always know that no matter what, you love her. Be her biggest encourager! Marriage can be difficult, but with prayer and forgiveness, and God's example first, you guys are going to thrive! I am so excited for you both and can't wait to see how God will grow and stretch you both! {{Hugs}} Kristin
I've been married 21 years, but I entered marriage as a romantic idealist. Yeah, I know - bad idea! lol Over the years, I've learned a few things that I wish someone had told me at the beginning. 1. It's not your husband's job to make you happy or complete you as a person. Marriage is about being made holy, and only God can make you complete. This doesn't mean your husband should never meet your needs, but it does mean that happiness is a choice you make on a daily basis and putting the burden of fulfilling you in all ways is too heavy for your spouse.. 2. No matter how much you love your hubby or how good your marriage is, there will be times of temptation. There will be times he gets on your last nerve and you'll wonder if you made a mistake. That's normal. Have a close, godly person you can be real with so you can keep each other accountable in your marriage and encourage each other to love your husbands the way they need to be loved. If you have baggage that is more complicated, going to a counselor is not a sign of failure. It's a sign of strength. Strong people are the ones who admit weaknesses and ask for help. 3. Surround yourself with people who believe in marriage and want to build up their husbands, not tear them down. That nagging, critical spirit can creep upon you without you realizing it, especially if you surround yourself with other women who do that. 4. Learn YOUR husband. Marriage books are all fine and dandy, but they aren't in YOUR marriage. Learn his love language and what things are important to him. Choose to do things just because it means a lot to him. 5. Submission does not mean that you have no opinion or voice. What you have is more important - you have influence. Use it wisely. 6. Make sex a priority in your marriage. 7. When and if you have children, while you do need to meet their needs, don't shove your husband off to the side and focus only on the kids. Make sure you spend time just as a couple. 8. Pray together. Dream together. Make plans together. See your future as a we, not an I. 9. Accept your hubby as he is. This does not mean enabling destructive behavior, but offering true acceptance and love for who your husband is goes a long way to showing respect. For example, my husband is a HUGE sports nut. I am not, but I don't nag him about wanting to watch football on Saturdays. I just accept that as who he is. I certainly wouldn't appreciate it if he told me not to read so much, kwim. 10. Be as nice to your husband as you are to other people It always amazes me how mean women can be in speaking/treating their husbands when they'd never dream of treating someone else that way. Being kind goes a long way in a marriage. :) Congrats Lovelle. I'll be praying for you and your young man as you begin your journey together.
Make it a habit to notice all the little things you agree on throughout a day. The way you adapt to one another's needs and preferences easily. Make mental notes of those little moments when life together feels easy and comfortable. It will help you keep perspective when tensions rise and you disagree about something. Instead of feeling like you are on totally different pages, you will be anchoring in all the ways you fit together and see it as just a blip on the radar.
ReplyDeleteLove this. <3
DeleteMake time for weekly date nights. Life gets in the way & if we don't make this a priority, it falls to the way-side. It may not seem like it now, but you'll be forever grateful you made a commitment for weekly date nights! They don't have to cost anything-they can be a simple walk, counting the stars, or a picnic at the park... be creative, just be consistent! :)
ReplyDeleteFriday night Chick-fil-A date night check... <3 thanks for the advice!
DeleteMy husband and I are imperfect people (and certainly not as pious as this sounds...), but we always pray together in the morning before we head our separate ways and in the evening before bed. It's something my parents have always done -- they've been married 39 years -- and it was something they recommended to me when I got married. On days when I'm mad at my husband for something or life feels overwhelming, it's a good way to stay connected. And, on the practical side, it's harder to stay mad at someone when you're praying with them. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this thanks so much!
DeleteLaugh!! Life and marriage is HARD, so keep your sense of humor. Give each other the benefit of the doubt and laugh often! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome thanks for the advice!
DeleteAlways be kind and honest with one another.
ReplyDeleteDavid says he been saying that for years and it's great advice thanks!
DeleteI wrote this guest-post a few months ago for a sweet friend who was getting married. She asked me to write down a few tips and talk about what I've learn in the last 15 years of marriage. Hopefully something in there will be useful to you as well. http://www.beingmrskirk.blogspot.com/2014/07/guest-post-20-tips-for-marriage.html
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you and David on your new adventure!!
Thank you!
DeleteWhat a sweet, fun picture of the two of you! Love it! I can see the joy your love for each other radiates. I am so tickled pink you have found the love of your lives! Lovelle, I have seen your beautiful heart through your blog and role as marketing assistant at DaySpring and know you will make a wonderful, godly wife. Based on your answers to the 20 questions, I see a lovely, God-centred couple who make each other happy. Like your mom Holley says, you will have discussions. When you do, you may find it helpful to ask, "what's more important me or us?" Sending you off with my prayers and blessing. May the Lord bless you both as you embark on your life together as one. XO
ReplyDeleteThank you! This means so much!
DeleteI struggle the most in our marriage with respect. It is something my husband needs most from me and yet, it is something that I don't always do well. But finding ways to show David you respect him and all he is doing at home, work etc...means a lot to him. And David, I would say to just love Lovelle well. May she always know that no matter what, you love her. Be her biggest encourager! Marriage can be difficult, but with prayer and forgiveness, and God's example first, you guys are going to thrive! I am so excited for you both and can't wait to see how God will grow and stretch you both! {{Hugs}} Kristin
ReplyDeleteI've been married 21 years, but I entered marriage as a romantic idealist. Yeah, I know - bad idea! lol Over the years, I've learned a few things that I wish someone had told me at the beginning. 1. It's not your husband's job to make you happy or complete you as a person. Marriage is about being made holy, and only God can make you complete. This doesn't mean your husband should never meet your needs, but it does mean that happiness is a choice you make on a daily basis and putting the burden of fulfilling you in all ways is too heavy for your spouse.. 2. No matter how much you love your hubby or how good your marriage is, there will be times of temptation. There will be times he gets on your last nerve and you'll wonder if you made a mistake. That's normal. Have a close, godly person you can be real with so you can keep each other accountable in your marriage and encourage each other to love your husbands the way they need to be loved. If you have baggage that is more complicated, going to a counselor is not a sign of failure. It's a sign of strength. Strong people are the ones who admit weaknesses and ask for help. 3. Surround yourself with people who believe in marriage and want to build up their husbands, not tear them down. That nagging, critical spirit can creep upon you without you realizing it, especially if you surround yourself with other women who do that. 4. Learn YOUR husband. Marriage books are all fine and dandy, but they aren't in YOUR marriage. Learn his love language and what things are important to him. Choose to do things just because it means a lot to him. 5. Submission does not mean that you have no opinion or voice. What you have is more important - you have influence. Use it wisely. 6. Make sex a priority in your marriage. 7. When and if you have children, while you do need to meet their needs, don't shove your husband off to the side and focus only on the kids. Make sure you spend time just as a couple. 8. Pray together. Dream together. Make plans together. See your future as a we, not an I. 9. Accept your hubby as he is. This does not mean enabling destructive behavior, but offering true acceptance and love for who your husband is goes a long way to showing respect. For example, my husband is a HUGE sports nut. I am not, but I don't nag him about wanting to watch football on Saturdays. I just accept that as who he is. I certainly wouldn't appreciate it if he told me not to read so much, kwim. 10. Be as nice to your husband as you are to other people It always amazes me how mean women can be in speaking/treating their husbands when they'd never dream of treating someone else that way. Being kind goes a long way in a marriage. :) Congrats Lovelle. I'll be praying for you and your young man as you begin your journey together.
ReplyDelete